April 7, 2015

Allow me to vaporize

De la nada sale el todo, y el todo se hace nada.

I believe souls don’t understand death the way bodies do. Souls don’t understand pain like bodies do either. Probably a sharp object penetrating the flesh feels like a twitch in the eye to the soul. Pain needs to pierce deeper than the flesh to leave an imprint on the soul. Way deeper into a vortex which is maybe located somewhere behind that rib cage. I don’t think it has anything to do with flesh, or muscle or veins. Not even blood. The soul goes deeper than those… somewhere in between the molecules. I believe the soul is ether and death goes beyond matter for it to feel its presence or lack of it. 

I believe the body dies once while the soul dies a million times over and over again in every life. I might be terribly wrong here. Maybe the soul dies a lot more than a million times in each life, but I’m sure it does. It’s definitely not inconsolable because it is etheric and one cannot expect ether to be heavy with sorrow or suffering or any similar dense substitute. It’s waiting for the body to release it back to where it came from till it gets portioned into numerous other bodies. No wonder so much in each of us is similar and yet so much is different. Probably you and I have been caged in a common body before… before we parted and became others. Maybe a part of me is trapped in these words that you are reading while the other one-sixteenth is reading it on her iPhone in some vague location and wondering if she should go get some lunch. We are not so different - you and I. 

I want to believe that the ether that I send out into the universe (once this body disintegrates) will carry with it the imprints of all the deaths that this body put it through; and parts of which will become a fragment of another body with a fraction of deaths from someone else. Probably we are all a culmination of deaths and imprints that added more spirit to it all. We are all fractions yet whole. Maybe that’s the reason behind emotions. The countless sentiments, intuitions and the overwhelming sense of fear or happiness are just those chemical reactions when the ether is exposed to a reparation or compensating fraction… wanting to be whole or to balance itself out. I want to believe that the only thing stopping it is the body which effervesces with these reactions because it needs to live and not disintegrate. The body needs the ether and cannot let it go.

The body is just the cage.

(Inspired by Haruki Murakami’s New York Mining Disaster - Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman)


  1. I have always wondered how some ideas persist, our ancestors felt the soul and pondered where it went. Maybe all we all linked in this ether how else can I explain the feeling when I read your piece that these are my thoughts too. Many a nights I have spent wondering why do I crave a connection ? When I am satisfied in my own indivisuality and on some quiet nights as I look up in to the stary sky I could swear that I felt the soul cry out " dont be scared to leave , our playground is much larger than you can ever imagine". You say beautiful things author keep writing.

    1. I have set up a comment moderation which lets me approve comments on the blog. Hence, the delay in display. I'm glad you feel something similar. This piece was a result of a similar unrest that you just talked about :) I couldn't help but get up and start penning it down immediately before it left me. Hope to create more pieces that connect with people in a similar way. Thanks for your comment. Keep visiting!

  2. Comments seem to vanish ?

  3. Reminded me of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of grass"... Your thoughts are lucid.

  4. Thought inspiring. I think J.K Rowling had a similar idea when she thought of Horcruxes, but then the idea is completely lost in the childish notion of villain and hero and all that, but the notion is a solid one of one's soul or essence can be in different bodies.

    Also, it kind of makes sense in terms of why we suddenly feel happy or sad or other emotions that is not particularly explainable. Maybe it is an imprint of a previous "life" that is triggered :)

  5. Strange , but sometimes(very rarely ) I too feel that way !


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