April 1, 2013

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Monkey is back with vengeance.

Wait! Before that, you need to learn about his recent disappearance. I don’t know how many of you are already aware of his unstable behaviour, but this time he jolted me out of the customary acceptance I had grown for him.

For new visitors, Monkey is my gnu. Not your average people pleaser and famously sucks at small talk. He seldom talks. I had gotten used to the rolling eyes and the occasional grimace that usually form his emotional fibre.

I found a job. It pays me enough to keep me alive, kicking and handle Monkey’s occasional tantrums. The only problem is that it’s a real job. Gnus are not built to slave and toil for survival and he loathes the idea of toiling for a few pennies of slavery. An idealist by nature. Therefore, he ends up being the preferred prey of the Serengeti. To add to his anxiety, the concrete jungle didn’t turn out to what he had expected it to be. There was no grass there.

He hates bothersome blabber and when a bad day at work makes one prattle, Monkey runs for the hills. That’s exactly what happened. He disappeared one day without a word. Initially, it hardly made a difference. I was much better without the cynic in a lot of ways. Not that I’m a believer myself, but the episodic rants and sighs to my issues were not supportive. We hit it off very well in the beginning because I gave him a corner in my life where he could remain in the shadows and not be bothered. Not many noticed his presence around. But the ones who did didn't quite recognize the peculiarity of his existence and that was just perfect for his sustenance in my world.

Lately, my intrusiveness had started riling the wildebeest and drove him to scurry towards peace. ‘Good riddance!’ - was my initial response, till the emptiness of the shadow started irking. The Monkey that kept my dreams real, the Monkey that kept ME real was gone. Probably...for good. Growing up with a strangely stable brute like him had made me who I am - The fighter. He left when I stopped fighting and gave in. The realization of the loss just dawned upon me and the storm was back in my eyes. Blood curdled at the thought of defeat and unrest approached me again. While I tossed and turned in my sleep, the shadows kept reminding me of the dweller.

There’s a reason why he chose to leave the wild for the corner in my life. He used to feed off the unrest and the turmoil and in return, gave me the vigour to battle. Just when the awareness approached me, Monkey marched right back into his favourite corner with a wicked smirk drawn across his face and I just unruffled myself while I waited for the war to begin.