Fear Rots!

Why be Happy when you’re going to die anyway? What’s the point? Is it because it’s more convenient to be happy than depressed?

“Happiness” is never enough! Contentment doesn’t exist! The yearning to get comfortable never ceases! How can death be an answer to happiness?

But there is a limit to suffering! One can’t bear more than a specific level. Pain. Sadness. Suffering. It's all limited. Limited to death. Hence, death is the answer.

If suffering justifies death then why keep looking for happiness?

‘Coz it’s EASY! The fear of suffering is the only reason we try to be happy and any person who claims to be happy disgusts me! All you "happy people" are a big blotch on your very existence!

Exotic is the Word

I’m not achieving any great heights in my less than ordinary life when I’m sitting dreaming of greater things in life while the earphones in my ears are playing the Ghostbusters soundtrack when in reality I should be working on some random telecommunication report. However, the mind has the capacity to make you feel like a total incompetent wreck and a rock star at the same time. Here I am sitting imagining great things like learning Spanish and then finding a job in Spain and buying a studio apartment and a dog and a cat and live a comfortable life ogling at the scrumptious Spaniards that trot the exotic land. But as my favourite quote goes “Reality continues to ruin my life!” You are so sure that you deserve peaches and you open your eyes to bloodsucking leeches!

Well just for your mere entertainment let me jot down the leeches ruining my life. First of all, I don’t know Spanish! So I thought I’ll enroll myself for Spanish classes. It’s not that I’m going to turn myself into a hot Spanish woman with a heavy accent and a sensuality that men can barely resist, but I do aspire to achieve those traits. Ha! Isn’t denial the best state of mind? I have already started picturing myself as a hot Spanish seductress oozing sensuality that I myself am finding hard to resist. Hey wait! But I friggin don’t know Spanish! Oh chuck the Spanish… I’m going to turn myself into a seductress anyway. And then ill get a job in Spain and live in a studio apartment with a dog and a cat and ogle at the hot Spanish men all day long! Now, all I need is to find myself a job in Spain. So possibly what could I work as in Spain? I’m thinking. Still thinking. Maybe a waitress. That way I can check out guys all day long. Yes! I’m going to be a waitress in a Spanish restaurant and serve Spanish food. Sounds neat. So that’s set. Now for my studio apartment. I guess that won’t be hard to find. And the dog and cat thing will work out too. So there I have everything in place. A sensuous personality. A Spanish job in Spain. A studio apartment. A dog and a cat.

Nah! Too boring. Maybe I could become one of those Spanish speaking gypsies. Aha! That’s what I need. I’ll join a group of gypsies in Spain and develop my psychic abilities. I don’t know what I’ll do with these abilities but I will develop them just for the heck of it. Because otherwise it’s hard to convince people that you are a gypsy. Maybe I can switch the dog with an exotic parrot and keep a black cat. That will suit my personality real well. So, now I’m a Spanish gypsy with psychic abilities and a parrot and a cat. I don’t see how that cannot be achieved. Finally I have an ambition in life and an aim to work towards. What the hell am I doing creating worthless reports on something as blatant as telecommunications? This is what I was born to do. Become a Spanish gypsy. My goals are set. And now I’ll get back to my work before my boss sees me fooling around. I need the money to at least buy me the tickets to Spain. The rest is figured out. Spain! Here I come.

Janine and Her Bottle of Wine

We all saw the bottle of red wine,

At the top of a mighty rock

It glistened in the rays of the beautiful sun

The bottle, the rock, the wine and everything else.

We were all happy in the blinding light.

Some soothing their skin, some digging the earth.

Hardly did anyone notice Janine

Who was listening to the sun.

She lay there hugging the rock

That stood still holding the wine.

Her cheek grazed the smooth curves

Feeling the rhythm of the rays.

She loved the wine more than anything else

But wouldn’t take a sip ‘coz she loved it too well.

She heard everything in the wait.

She smelt the aroma in the air.

The euphoria that made us dance

Was nothing but the wine in the air.

The sun and the breeze spread the joy

It was nothing. Just the wine in the air.

But Janine did not dance with us.

She lay there tapping her feet.

She was busy listening to the rhythm of the rock

In the shade of which she smelt the wine.

She loved the wine more than anything else

But wouldn’t look at it ‘coz she loved it too well.

And she lay there with closed eyes

Her cheek on the rock , tapping her feet

While we continued soothing our skins

And digging the earth to unveil the deep.

Since it was nothing. Just the wine in the air.