Low-point Sally

She’s not a guardian angel

to shield what she takes over.

Deem she’s an apparition

A task and Halo ‘pon her.

From the corner of yer eye

You’ll find her crouching silver

Nights you’re low n’ hurting

She feeds on it for supper.

Sally drinks your tears

meets over nightmares

watches the tossing n’ turning

In fear she lurks and ensnares.

Breezes through bouts of insomnia

keeps low but you can hear

when she gushes past on nimble toes

a cold breath when she’s near.

Sh’was there when you slept calm

When you woke up with no qualm

Follows you under the sun

Sniggered when you sang the psalm

Waits for you to fall

In good times when you stand tall

Looks out for gashes

You’ll sense pain when she’s around.

She’s the low-point Sally

Hate her and she breeds on it

Stays around till it hits again

Sears your soul bit by bit.

You’ll never escape her

She dwells in your shadow

When the sun sets again

In darkness she will wallow.
Time strengthens her grip
feels like a meth trip
every gasp, every scream
She's hungry. She will swallow.

Life Lessons Leading To Nowhere

#458:  Do not crap where you eat!

Yes. If you love the hygiene of your deeds as much as the deed itself, draw borders. Don’t let it infect your sanity with conundrums polluting your way of life. And the consequence? You end up looking for a new place to squat every time. Geez! Save yourself the effort. Isolate your dining areas. (If you know what I mean!)

#45: The temperatures remain the same. Thresholds increase.

Remember how people give examples of babies learning from touching hot objects where they would never touch it again after the first burn. I say that’s just a whole load of crap. The first burn just pushed your threshold levels to a whole new level and you didn't even realize it. Burns are good and you will get burnt every time. But that's no reason to stop playing with fire. Wear your scars like accolades. They push you to a whole new level. 

#136: Travel Light

Easier said than done. There’s always something on the way that just can’t be left behind. But trust me on this one. There is nothing that can’t be left behind. Give away stuff. Donate some. Dispose off the baggage. Make room for the next lot. There are always a lot more places to cover! The bag will never get empty. Just lighter.

#3: Lessons always have newer editions

Change the covers. Improve the style. The core idea may stay the same. They sometimes may not. But that’s the best part about learning new lessons. You’ve always got to unlearn. Revamp models. Jazz it up with the latest!

#860: There’s always a better dress

Go on an impulsive buying spree. You like it. Buy it! Wear it with all you can afford and see how it goes. There will be prettier ones down the line. But that’s for another day. Remember, lessons need to be revamped.

Let's be Grown Ups

Being adult about things in life can open a chapter of perceptions. People change. Situations change. There are highs and then the terrible lows. The lows that kick you in the shins and point and laugh at you. For some, being adult could mean sucking it up, making a few reforms and marching ahead with a remodeled brain. For some others, it could mean submitting and accepting a side that they were unaware of. For the other brilliant ones, it’s just a billing period for the fabulous high right before they touched the point of no return (or so they would think).

Being mature probably means not placing trust without a bargain. It probably means how to weigh your words before speaking your heart out. It could also mean having a new secret compartment in your cupboard for your favourite stuffed toy that’s too old to sleep next to you in your bed now. So, how does one really “grow up”? Who does that to you? What makes it the most crucial part of your survival? When did it hit you like a million rocks tightly packed in a jute bag across your pretty face? Did you bleed (no pun intended!)? Did it hurt like a thousand sharp swords skewering your ribcage slicing the guts and choking the life out of you? And was it all worth it? The pain is almost physical and out comes a neatly laundered ‘You’. Ironed and dry till you face some more dirt. After that begins another laundering process and then another and so on… till you wear out.

It’s a brilliant place to be. Being Adult. You finally know it all. You are so sure. Nothing can dupe you into believing anymore. You’re not a cynic. You just don’t give in that easily. You wear your wounds on your sleeve and flaunt your worry lines. The frequent cackling laughter has been replaced by an occasional smirk and wandering eyes. Your towering confidence is reeking of insecurities. And the face now wears a brilliant porcelain mask painted with wisdom. You always have a lot to offer to the 'still innocent' with a disclaimer, “You’ll know with time”. There is a published book of theories you hold in your hands with definitions written across a hundred pages. The pride you take in the pain. The pleasure you take in the tears you shed. You love it! The sweet masochistic pleasure. If that’s not called being grown up, then I don’t know what is. 

Give me Red!

"Reality is merely a perception, albeit a very persistent one."

                        - Albert Einstein

The Asian Paints advertisement with the catchy tagline “Merawala red!” or “Merawala green!” popped in my head when I was pondering over the reality of colour. Colour is merely a ‘sensation’ felt by the brain when the eye transfers light bouncing off an object. If that defines colour, then how can we standardize the sensation to each and every brain? Is it right to generalize colours (or sensations) felt or perceived by the brain? Merawala “Red” could be very different from anybody else’s Red. But, since I was taught to identify the sensation as red, my sensation has been termed the same as yours. If this was to be true, could it be possible that all of us have the same favourite colour? But, this is difficult to believe. What if my brain is recording red as green but I keep calling it red? Lots of questions there. Now, let’s get down to some problem solving.

The Reality of my world could be very different from anyone else’s. Some realize the difference and some don’t. The mind works way beyond what it sees. Sight is just one of the sensations. Humans have been unable to come up with a language that can help convey these perceptions to each and every living being homogeneously. Imagine a world where each and every individual feels the same way and reacts the same way for every single event or action that takes place. Probably losing way in the complexities of the human brain can be totally cancelled out if a common language of expression can be formed for the whole of mankind. At present, we are not communicating. We are perceiving. If the expression is not perceived in the same way as the expresser of emotions, the message has clearly not been conveyed. So the root cause of all the mismatch in communicating is the difference in perception.

One common language. One common expression that evokes the same desires, feelings and reactions. If discovered, we probably have an answer to all questions in life.

The Road to Nowhere

De La Nada Sale El Todo, Y El Todo Se Hace Nada.

It’s a whirlwind of thoughts that lands me in a granny knot. Every rampant idea being born out of the previous one sends my brain into an uncontrollable loop. All started by a simple effort towards letting go of the past conditioning of my mind. How does one ‘Let Go’? But before that, what does ‘Letting Go’ mean? Can I really erase my memory? Only a human brain is capable of relating time to a third party unlike animals who can only relate time to themselves. Hence, the curse or boon of the human brain to wonder, speculate and apply knowledge to goals way into the future. A future that may or may not be. One can always predict the future that will or will not change. Another super trait that the human brain possesses. As I write this piece that may or may not be read, my future is changing or shaping into something that I am truly aware of yet oblivious to.

Does my past have anything to do with my future? This piece that I am writing may have an iota of contribution to how I will think after I am finished writing it. I may or may not hit any solid conclusion or finding. But it is also conditioning my brain to think in a particular way. I may not be able to think outside a certain idea that I will finish forming after writing this article. A box of thoughts shaped out of some knowledge that I may have gained in my past is restricting the way I am thinking. I can question it. Put it to test. I can doubt the very existence of this box. A box that may not exist but manages to influence the way I think. The whys and hows will never end because that’s how my brain functions. That’s how 'ANY' human brain functions. A fact which is some information that I may have learnt in the past. The habit of questioning. Many say questioning is good. But what if it's a form of conditioning that my brain has undergone? What if there are no answers? It’s a scary thought. No answers. Makes every effort look futile. Probably knowledge will never lead you to an answer. Probably it’s just diverting you from the fact that there is no answer. Could that be the ultimate truth? I guess I’ll just have to wait till the book ends. Wait and watch. Wait and observe. Just wait.